SPECIAL REPORT!!! THE MONSENIOR AND THE LADY!

Scandal plagues the Catholic Church once again. sex scandal.

The victim: recent divorcy who is the secretary to the Monsenior of the Catholic Archdiosis Church of New York. There are rumors the Monsenior and the Lady are having sexual doings. Divorce is a sin, sex is a sin. Combined they form a super-sin.

The monsenior had a television show. A Current Affair tracked down some damning quotes/evidence:

He called the United States the most immoral country in the western hemisphere
He either denounced or applauded celibacy (i'm not sure it was a rather quick edit)
He has had "marvelous visions of himself"
The Gays. Hates the Gays
Gay is a disorder

So they link the marvelous visions of himself quote with the gay-baiting quote to imply he has gay masterbation sessions with himself. Icky.

Meanwhile, Host Tim Green, is in love with the secretary. He makes a point to call her attractive, pretty.

Somebody hired a P.I. and caught them going into, THE WHITE SANDS MOTEL on MONTAUK, LONG ISLAND! the P.I. hung out outside until they left and holy shit, they came out wearing DIFFERENT CLOTHES!

THE OWNER OF THE WHITE SANDS MOTEL ON MONTAUK, LONG ISLAND CONFIRMED THE MONSENIOR IS A REGULAR CLIENT! BUT HE WONT SAY WHO HE HAS BEEN THERE WAS WITH!!!!! "CONFIDENTIALITY"??? "REGULAR CLIENT"???

A CURRENT AFFAIR SUPER-REPORTER MICHEL BRYANT CONFIRMED THAT THE MONSENIOR WENT TO WORK TODAY... AND HASN'T LEFT YET.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THE NUTS ON THIS GUY?!?! (I have anger blackout from rage anger and pass out)

OK OK NOW they are talking about the canadian scott peterson. he killed the canadian laci peterson. canadian scott peterson is crying about it. what an act. they have another daughter. what a cold ass motherfucker. he drives a ford explorer and claims he was home at the time he killed his wife. HE ORGANIZED THE SEARCH. therefore he didn't do it right?

Wrong! Richard's Pub in Canada had surviellance video. there's canadian scott peterson's ford explorer on the road. liar liar liar liar.

ugh. "she met a violent death" are all the canadian authorities will say about the murder. canadians are considerate enough not to release details. thank god. canadian killer canadian scott peterson plans to plea not guilty.

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE explosive new detail in the Beth Giesel sex sex sex scandal. oh my. the boy was expelled. and the father threatened a S-STORM if he wasn't reinstated!

Host Tim Green explains, if the allegations are true, it is repugnant because that means he went to the police with details of the affair out of retaliation and not the highest of moral standards.

Scott Skipes in California, owns lion, panther & 3 tiger. According to the correspondent Lisa or Laura or something (Tim Green tends to mumble the reporters names), I probably think to myself "who the hell does he think he is?"

She was right. Who the hell does he think he is??! lookin like a fucking burn victim on steroids, sleeping with tigers, hiring models to pretend to be Jane in public appearances, voice all retarded sounding.

Anywho Scotty got saved by a lion on the set of an european tarzan film in 1969. This inspired him to become a real life Tarzan, Scotty mourns the loss of Bobo, his 6 year old tiger who a year ago in typical LA manner got murked by the po-po's, while on the loose for 3 days.

This brought about the best scene of tonight's episode. They questioned a LA Wildlife cop why they had to shoot the tiger. He seemed geniunely confused that this needed to be justified "The.. officer... in question... felt... his.... life... was... in danger?"