A BULLET FOR RICKY CHANCE
Rick Chance was well known by southwest late night television viewers. He appeared in his own commercials for his glass company. He also sold jewels.
Rick Chance married many times & was very religious. So how did such a pius man end up dead in sleazy motel room with a bullethole in his chest & a chinese girl stripper? Trophy Wife #3 talked about how she thought she was marrying some sort of mogul, but no! His idea of a good time was reading from the bible "it was like i was just supposed to sit there and listen for like 4 hours straight like i was child. it was quite boring" needless to say their marriage fell apart.
With no one to read the bible to, Ricky fell into a despair spiral, so he got obsessed with pretty girls. He showed friend Randy the jewish lawyer internet dating sites and said "this is where its at".. but that is not how he met this pretty chinese stripper. they met "the old fashioned way"...
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the classifieds.
not the personals. the classifieds. he placed an ad for some jewelry and she responded. and then she said the words no man can deny. "lets get a hotel room and i can show you my breast enhancements" (unlike the other quotes, this one is verbatim - the old fashioned way one is also verbatim too btw and both are from tim green's voiceover ok), chinese girl & boyfriend kill him. Now they are in jail and bickering over who shot who. The jury hung.
Tim Green signs off with "not the first, nor the last"
The next piece is 5-6 minutes of literally just talking SHIT about Dr. Phil.
Tim Green signs off with a smile & "Dr. Phil don't make me open a can of whoop ass on you. " then he says something about past tv advice gurus who have crashed & burned & dr. laura
posted by Jxsh @ 7:15 PM
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